10 Ways for Non-followers to look cool during Cricket conversations

1. If you are forced to watch a match with your more enthusiastic friends, keep repeating the following often – “Ahhh”, “Ohhh”, “Indiaaaa Indiaa!!” + 3 bangs on the table or any place you see fit… also randomly scream “No ball!!”,”Wide”, “Four”, “Six”. Do not worry about sounding silly, as these expressions are essential for any serious Cricket (read Indian) fan, nobody will wonder why you just said it.

2. When someone talks about an innings, just say “but it wasn’t like that innings earlier…” and stare enthusiastically at someone who may be more knowledgable than you. If nobody remembers, babble out a random period like “2 months ago”, “3 years ago” or “in World Cup”. But be careful not to mention any opponent.

3. If you really want to feel safe, simply say “But not like Sachin…”. This phrase not only grants you immunity from being found out, but is also an instant ticket to ‘True Knowledgeable Indian Fan’ status. Of course, take this step only after making sure that they are not talking about Sachin.

4. The line mentioned above, and any other random praise for Sachin like “Sachin for Bharat Ratna”  “Sachin for Nobel!!” “Sachin for Prime Minister!!” etc… is so powerful that it may be used to sound cool any time. You can praise him when comparing any Batsman, Bowler, Fielder, Entire Cricket Teams, achievers in any field, powerful world leaders and even God!!

5. There are 3 formats of the game – Test Cricket, ODIs, and T20s. Once you identify the format the discussion is in, immediately use this phrase “<another format> is so much better!!”.

6. For any discussion on cricketers’ salary, lifestyle, etc, blame the IPL!

7. For any discussion on injuries and tight schedules, blame the IPL!

8. For any discussion on corruption, blame the IPL… additionally blaming N Srinivasan here will score you extra points among non-Chennaiites! To impress friends from another country, blame Sharad Pawar!

9. Throwing around random accusations of fixing on random players will make you look like a person with much practical insight into the functioning of the game

10. If all else fails… just buy an India T-Shirt and sit there saying nothing. Symbolism is the ultimate route to coolness as an Indian fan! And it will also make the rest of the non-T-shirt-wearing group feel guilty for not being as good a fan as you!! How cool is that??


Some facts about 49-O – Note: this is not a collection of the usual information… please read it even if you are aware

(Sorry for putting this up on election day – did not get enough time to write about this.)

49-O as a concept started gaining popularity through e-mails and SMS forwards. But there are some misconceptions floating around. False awareness is more dangerous than no awareness! It’s quite long, but I request you to read it if you really are interested in 49-O awareness.

A sample message below. You can skip the text if you have already read about it.

How many of you know that we have a right to boycott elections and ask for re-poll? According to the constitution,the 1969 Act clearly mentions that anyperson who is unacceptale or non eligible if you feel you can use the section 49 (O).A voter can go to the polling station, confirm his identity by getting his finger marked and convey the authority that he dont like to vote for anyone.We are not informed of this because none of the representative wants any voter to boycott elections.

In any particular constituency if any voter get 123 votes and more than 123 49(o) the polling will be cancelled and the election commission will schedule a new date.The particular contestant against who the number of 49 os are received will not be held eligible.

Our election commission has never revealed this section to the general public so that people will abstain from voting a particular candidate whom they dont feel fit enough to contest from their constituency. We all feel that we have to vote for some candidate from our constituency even if we dont like to vote for them.We can save our votes and the valuable votes of many by eliminating corrupt and illiterate politicians and save our country from the clutches of such hooligans.

Use your constitutional rights against the anti-social elements in our country. If not we are dishonouring our fundamental rights and sacrificing the nation’s future.

Jai Hind!

It is easy to get swept away by such ambitious words and make a mental note to register 49-O and make sure the candidiates are ‘disqualified’ by our action. However well-intentioned this email might be, it is full of misinformation, about the rule, it’s awareness and consequences. The strong words at the end of the message that you will be ‘dishonouring’ your fundamental right and harming the nation somehow will most often stop you from doing any further research and checking on any of the information in the message. But just as it is our duty to know our right, so it is to cross check facts and verify them, apart from thinking over the validity of some points made.

Consider the following –

Right of Secrecy: The procedure of 49-O violates the basic right of the voter to maintain secrecy of his/her choice. Inserting this option into EVMs would be a solution that would clear the hesitation and fear of many people. Infact, this can be seen as one of the major reasons as to why 49-O fails to get people to vote for it even if they are aware.

Awareness: Only a fool would expect a representative of political parties to ‘inform’ the voters of the option – mentioning the fact in this message achieves nothing more than kindling up anger against politicians. Seriously, how many righteous ‘Mahatmas’ among ourselves wish to fail, even if we know we did wrong? Politicians are no different, they want to win – why else would they contest?

It is left to activists, well-meaning people and the Election Commission of India to spread awareness about it. And unlike the text given above, the EC has not been hiding this from the public. In earlier times, ballot papers could be nullified by multiple voting. Implementation of EVMs has made the 49-O concept a relatively new tool. In fact, it is the Election Commission that has put forward a proposal to include this option in EVMs in order to maintain the right of secrecy. It can be read in Page 14 of the following letter http://eci.nic.in/eci_main/press/current/PN_030804.pdf. Why the proposal has not been considered by the Government is obvious.

The Result: The most dangerous hoax of all, perhaps, is this. To have such an amazing power in our hands sounds too good to be true – and it is exactly that. Please inform this to your friends too – majority of people voting for 49-O will not nullify any candidate or result in re-polls. This has most probably been included as an additional motivation by some well-meaning soul, although false, to encourage people to exercise this right.

The EC has itself issued a clarification for this. You can read it right here – http://eci.nic.in/eci_main/press/current/pn051208.pdf. A simple Google search will tell you the fallacy of this statement. The best that this right of ours can do at this point of it’s existence, is to inform the political parties of the people’s view – that most of them are disappointed with the candidates. It also prevents bogus votes. Whatever happens, the candidate with majority valid votes will win.

Of course, nothing stops people from taking initiative and seeing this law to the next stage, i.e when it really does nullify a polling on majority of neutral voting. But at it’s present form, it just does not happen.

Please spread this around. This is not a skeptical piece or a criticism of the law. I have written this down to clear the misconceptions about 49-O and my thought is that people should not go on to vote for it believing such false promises. I too sincerely wish this law would evolve more to give the people some real power instead of simply expressing displeasure. 

Happy voting 🙂

Anna Hazare and The Argumentative Indian

What started out as a small initiative by a handful of people quickly became a massive awakening gaining thousands of supporters everyday. And, in a very unlikely response, the Government of India promptly responded with offers of compromise and promise of action.

The most revealing aspect of this whole exercise has not been the reaction of the politicians – whom we can probably assume to feel threatened by a fully functional Lokpal law – but the Pandora’s box of views and opinions that it has opened up among the public or the ‘civil society’, as the public guardians of the to-be law would like to call it.

Many among us, even those who have readily given out bribes to get favours at some point in the past, have readily given out our vocal support for the campaign. If moral qualification was a criteria for the Anti-Corruption drive, I doubt Anna Hazare would have gathered a large group in such a little time. While the overwhelming support that this man has received has made us feel proud, there have been instances of equally widespread cynicism and skeptical comments. Not to disregard them, of course, but very few people against it seem to have got a hold of the real purpose behind the movement.

It is true that Anna Hazare, Arvind Kejriwal, Kiran Bedi and Swami Agnivesh were demanding change from the Government. They were not trying to undermine the Government in any way or go against the Constitution as some people would have us believe. All that was asked for was the people’s version of the bill be considered, and people be given equal representation on the consitution of the Lokpal Committee. As opposed to that, the Government’s version of the bill does not enourage direct public participation in the functioning of the committee. Nor does it give enough power and scope that is expected of any decent enquiry committee. As for the argument that the representatives in the Government too are elected by the public itself, Anna Hazare himself put it beautifully in an interview today (in Hindi) – “The people whom we have elected think that the are our masters, when in fact they are our servants”. MPs may be there as our representative, theoritically, but how many of us can claim that we are truly ‘represented’?

Part of the blame for the negative wave can be passed on to the media. In their eagerness to get good ratings and improve their image, they immediately presented this as a People vs Government war. With this perspective gaining popularity, the main aim of co-operation was invisible to the eyes of many. As always, it was followed by an information (opinion!) boom across different media, which further contributed to the view that each party was pitted against the other. Questions were raised about why Anna Hazare was ‘fighting against’ the Constitution. Apparently, they don’t have a problem if the Government is free to draft laws as per it’s wish, but will they think before blaming the judiciary and legal system when the same law affects them personally? Here was a man trying to bring in a law that was fair, which is also going to be brought about by the same process as any other law i.e through Parliament. So where is the question of being against the Constitutional process?

Some even accused him of ’emotional blackmail’. Blackmail – really! Gandhiji would have turned in his grave had he known what his principle of non-violent protest has become today. Needless to say, this only complicated the understanding of what the activists were really trying to do. If a fast was the only means to get those who matter to act promptly, then so be it. Those who talk of patience should know/recall the fact that this law has been in the backburner for more than 40 years. Infact, if Anna Hazare had not started his fast, I doubt if we would have even heard of this law.

The saddest and funniest comment which I came across was that Anna Hazare was threatening and bullying the Government to accept his demands. We want the Government to bend down to terrorists and Maoists threatening them with captives, even praying for their safe return… but a 72-year-old man who makes a peaceful protest for the good of the country is spoken of like a terrorist! Nothing to say about the opinion of those who put forth such accusations – their attitude speaks words.

Another social disease that reared up it’s ugly head in this scenario was the inability to tell people and ideologies apart. Once the opinion of an anti-government war gained it’s hold, another purpose of the bill which was simply to enhance the anti-corruption process against politicians, was seen as a personal attack on MPs and MLAs. Public anger helped. The ‘Mera Neta Chor Hain’ slogan would not have been missed by many. Anna Hazare himself was a victim of such generalization recently. The moment he praised Narendra Modi and Nitish for their Government’s work in bringing about development – he was accused of supporting communalism. The new hero had to clarify that he had spoken in view of developmental measures only. We too often fall into the trap of Proof by Association. Anna Hazare appreciates Modi for development – Modi is communal – so Anna Hazare must be communal. Silly as it sounds, this is how we are.

By now, you have probably formed the opinion that I’m also a supporter of Anna Hazare. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not… But one need not be a follower or supporter of someone to appreciate their actions in bringing about change. He is not doing anything for his gain, as some ‘protesters’ do. He is doing it so that you can get basic amenities, like good clean water, enough food to eat… so that your children can go to good schools and get free and equal education… so that you may live a smooth life as a citizen of this great nation… if you are still asking questions about the validity and need for the protest… and ‘interference’ in the law making process – may God bless you – believe me you need it!

I came across this very moving post in the blog of a friend remembering his mother on Children’s Day.

Our childhoods would have been very incomplete without our mother who took care of us, made sure we had our meals on time and with complete nourishment (even if we didn’t always like it) ignoring her own nutritional needs, would wait for us while we took our time to get back home, prayed for us to succeed even in the tiniest of efforts… the qualities of a mother can never be expressed in words – only felt!

So let us thank our mothers for all that they have done for us. Children’s Day is not just to celebrate childhood, but also to celebrate the wonderful being that made childhood possible!

Thank you Sylvian for sharing your link today!

8 Things To Do Instead Of Watching A News Discussion

WARNING: For People With The Generalization Disease !!! :)… This post is not including by default all the shows ever aired on national/regional/local television. Some may be good, respectful and informative. This is purely aimed at a few shows which do not even qualify as being called discussions…

1. Watch A Cartoon In Chutti TV – Frankly, they make more sense to the average human mind. As for the children, it’s best not to let them listen to ‘experts’ in news discussions. Cartoon characters, even baddies of the extreme kind, have a better sense of conversation.

2. Go To A Fish Market – If you have listened to a few of the ‘debates’ that go on, you will know what I mean.

3. Read The News Elsewhere – Ten minutes with a good newspaper in your hand, or scrolling through Google News, can give you more information than hours of discussion on news channels. As for youngsters who think watching these shows can help you ace GD, please think for a few minutes as to how your prospective employer will feel… sitting in a room full of people talking the way they do on the show.

4. Listen To Music – Actually, I would recommend this more for people who regularly follow these discussions for the sake of it – it really helps keep your pressure in control! I would recommend a break every five minutes.

5. Have Your Own Discussions On The Same Topic – Normal people, with proper conversation skills can arrive at conclusions, or a compromise at the least, within a few minutes. And you can know what you feel about it, without letting people on TV decide it for you (they decide for the entire ‘country’… as they say…) Even if you can’t win the argument, you can just laugh it off and start talking about the latest movie releases, or crib about your job – makes you feel much better, doesn’t it? 🙂

6. Talk To A Friend – Atleast you could catch up on something closer to reality.

7. Watch Your Favourite Videos, Over And Over Again – Rather than watching the 10-second amazing-because-I-couldn’t-get-anything-else video footage played over a hundred times.

8. Stare At A Blank Wall – Really… What’s the difference???

Ode To The Master :p

An Ode to my Master… in a way which would make her veryyyyy proud (???)

Ringie Ringie Ringie!!!
Did You See My Pingie???
Ringie Said This Thingie
That Zingie Sang The Singie
When Mingie Lost The Pingie
Bingie Went To Kingie
But Kingie Showed The Fingie
I Wish I Had Wingie
So I Could Find My Pingie
Dingie Dingie Dingie!!!
Oh How I Miss My Pingie!!!

If you do not know my Master Pingie, do not try to make sense of this post… You could, if you wish. I will pray for your mental well-being…

The Mysterious Little Boy

Jamie is back :p… do not ask why I posted after such a long time… I will not be able to answer you :)…

(Hope Pingieeee is gappyyy)


“Can you lend me a few rupees, Ma’am?”

The feeble voice that sounded near the window of my car was almost drowned by the noise of the evening traffic, but was audible enough to get my attention. The mention of money triggered in my mind a natural wish to ignore the call. It was so common to see beggars at the signal, I had almost trained my mind to avoid them without much concern. But there was something in that request that made me turn toward its source.

There was a little boy standing before me. I tried to read his age, and guessed he could not be more than six. I judged it by his height, his face was not very clear, thanks to the poor lighting in the road.

“Why do you want money?” I must have been out of mind, asking this question to a child beggar. I asked him first, before I asked myself, something I had never done before.

“I want to buy flowers for my dog, Ma’am.”

I felt a bit irritated. I thought of my long but busy day at work, the kids who would be home by now, waiting for Amma to come back and make their dinner, my husband who was probably on his way home right now… and here I was, listening to a silly request from a child who could not find anything more important to do than buy flowers for his dog. A dog that fancies flowers??? I needed to break away from this!

I turned my eyes toward the road in front of me. The boy, who seemed to have noticed that I had lost interest, pleaded, this time in a more audible voice “Please, Ma’am”

I decided to work off my possible guilt by reaching into my purse and picking out a few coins. That was all I had to do. Or so I thought…

“Can you give me a ride home, Ma’am?”

I almost dropped the coins in my hand. I recovered from my shock as quickly as I had got into it. I should have guessed this much. I was perhaps the first person to stop and listen to this boy. So, as is the case with all poor children, comply with a request, only to have it immediately topped by another. My mind raced again to my home, and I glanced at my watch.

“It is only two kilometers away, Ma’am. I am too tired to walk.”

He seemed quite harmless. And two kilometers will not take too much of my time. But was it right to help this child?

Seeing no possible reason as to why it could go wrong, I decided to let the child in. I opened the door of my car and let him sit in the seat next to me. I could not let him sit in the backseat. I wanted to keep him within my sight. I still had my doubts.

Once he was comfortably seated, I leaned a little to my right to get a good look at his features. A sudden wave of shock swept over me!

These was a big burn on the left side of his face. I found it quite repulsive. What had I got myself into?

The boy seemed to have read my thoughts. “It’s okay, Ma’am. A lot of people feel that way.”

I did not know if I should have been feeling right or wrong at that moment. But it was hard to get out of the situation, so I started the car, and let the boy direct me the route to his home.

It was a short drive, but seemed to take ages. I did not speak a word to the boy, except for acknowledging that I understood his directions.

He seemed to know his way well, making me stop at a florist shop. It looked quite posh, by his standards. I walked in with him. It looked like a good place to shop for flowers. But considering my company, this would probably be the first and last time I would be able to show my face here.

“That little rose…” the boy looked at me, with a crooked smile. A smile that seemed so creepy, my heart stopped for a second.

I almost snatched the flowers that he asked for, paid the bill, and hurried out, lest I run into someone I know, and become the laughing stock of all my friends.

I started driving again. In about ten minutes, the boy made me stop at a little ground, in the middle of which was a small house. I stepped out of my car, half wishing I had not paid heed to the boy at the traffic signal. My mind went back to my family again.

I just stood there, the boy standing beside me. I was staring at the distance and expecting a dog to come running out any second, for its flowers. Sensing in a few seconds that nothing of the sort was going to happen, I turned down to see the boy. My heart stopped for a second, as it had at the store. That creepy smile again!

He held my hand. I did not know why I was letting myself into all this, but before I knew what was happening, the boy was leading me to a corner of the ground.

Here I was, alone with a mysterious little boy, whom I did not even trust very much, flowers in my hand, in the corner of a ground with no soul in sight. At least not as far as I could see…

“There is my dog, Ma’am. You can give me the flowers now, I will give it to him.”

I squinted my eyes to see where the dog was. I had no problem with my vision. I was sure there was no dog there, or any other living being there for that matter. I turned toward the boy to ask him where his dog was. But the words never came out of my mouth. He had already been pointing, I knew where, and I did not want to see…

He was pointing toward a little mound of earth.

I closed my eyes that night, in the comfort of my home, where there would be no mysterious little boys, with strange requests. I said a little prayer of thanks to God, for making me stop that night, and showing me, the youngest teacher in my life.

The Story… :)

Sorry for the delay, did not get much of a chance to spend(waste) time before my system last week.

Here is the story –

A geriatric member of the feminine group – ஒரு பாட்டி

devilled a conglomeration of cosmestible components in a scalding lipid – வடை சுட்டுக்கிட்டு இருந்தாங்க

Within a hardly significant interval in a nonspatial continuum, – அப்போ திடிருனு

a member of the corvus genus (Name: Corvie) – ஒரு காக்கா

flittered through the firmament – வானத்துலிருந்து பறந்து வந்து

and purloined a modicum of the suateed entity – ஒரு வடைய திருடிட்டு போயிடுச்சு

Corvie festinated to the apex of a perennial multicellular organism. – காக்கா மரத்து மேல போய் உக்கார்ந்துரிச்சு

A carnivorous member of the Vulpes genus (Name: Vulpie) – அப்போ ஒரு நறி

perceived the esculent material with Corvie – காக்கா கிட்ட இருந்த வடைய பார்த்து

and fostered an appetence to partake the same. – அதை சாப்பிடனும்னு ஆசை பட்டுச்சு

Vulpie confabulated with Corvie the following statement – நறி காக்கா கிட்ட சொல்லுச்சு –

“You exhibit an enticing enunciation. Would you proffer me a composition?” – ” உன் குரல் ரொம்ப நல்லா இருக்கு. எனக்காக ஒரு பாடு பாடுறியா?”

Perceiving Vulpie’s blandishment as veridical, – நறி சொன்னது உண்மைனு நம்பி
Corvie unclosed the mandible – காக்கா பாட வாய திறந்துச்சு
and effectuated the descent of the conglomeration. – வடை கீழே விழுந்துடுச்சு.

Vulpie secured its dominion over the pabulum and scoured forthwith. – நறி வடைய எடுத்துட்டு ஓடி போயிடுச்சு.

For those of you who can’t read tamil –

A geriatric member of the feminine group – An old lady

devilled a conglomeration of cosmestible components in a scalding lipid – was frying vadais (I can’t find the english word… let me know if you are aware of it)

Within a hardly significant interval in a nonspatial continuum, – Suddenly,

a member of the corvus genus (Name: Corvie) – a crow

flittered through the firmament – came flying down

and purloined a modicum of the suateed entity – and stole a vadai

Corvie festinated to the apex of a perennial multicellular organism. – Then the crow flew up to a branch on the top of a tree

A carnivorous member of the Vulpes genus (Name: Vulpie) – A fox

perceived the esculent material with Corvie – saw the crow holding the vadai.

and fostered an appetence to partake the same. – The fox wished to eat it

Vulpie confabulated with Corvie the following statement – The fox told the crow –

“You exhibit an enticing enunciation. Would you proffer me a composition?” – ” You have a very sweet voice. Will you sing a song for me?”

Perceiving Vulpie’s blandishment as veridical, – The crow thought what the fox said was true.

Corvie unclosed the mandible – The crow opened its mouth to sing

and effectuated the descent of the conglomeration. – which caused the vadai to fall down.

Vulpie secured its dominion over the pabulum and scoured forthwith. – The fox took the vadai and ran away.


The first person to guess this was… Pingie!!! 🙂 Many thanks Pingie dear for taking the time to read through and post the answer. I’m not at all surprised because she is a big English Jeevi. Promised her a chocolate next time I see her. The reason I’m mentioning this – promises made in public are more effective. :p

My brain is totally out… thanks for reading… will post soon :)…

Corvie and Vulpie

NOTE: I know all of you are good, honest people and will not google and check the words in the story, even if you do not understand some of them. Still, I would like to request that you don’t

A geriatric member of the feminine group devilled a conglomeration of cosmestible components in a scalding lipid. Within a hardly significant interval in a nonspatial continuum, a member of the corvus genus (Name: Corvie) flittered through the firmament and purloined a modicum of the suateed entity.

Corvie festinated to the apex of a perennial multicellular organism. A carnivorous member of the Vulpes genus (Name: Vulpie) perceived the esculent material with Corvie and fostered an appetence to partake the same.

Vulpie confabulated with Corvie the following statement –

“You exhibit an enticing enunciation. Would you proffer me a composition?”

Perceiving Vulpie’s blandishment as veridical, Corvie unclosed the mandible and effectuated the descent of the conglomeration.

Vulpie secured its dominion over the pabulum and scoured forthwith.

*** THE END ***

This piece is an experiment to prove two facts:

1. What will happen if Jamie starts writing in big biggg difficult words, and to make you feel more thankful that Jamie doesn’t do so 🙂

2. How you can make a complete complicated mess out of something which can be expressed clearly using simple words.

If you were able to conjecture… oops 🙂 … guess the story, post a comment. Even if you were unable to do so, comment anyway :p . Comments with guesses will be withheld till next week, when I will give out the actual story. Even if you think you are correct, please don’t reveal it your other friends who may be reading this.

If you are interested, you may see my inspiration here. (Nothing against the author, but I definitely don’t feel comfortable reading something that makes me refer a dictionary once every 10 words.) :p

A cordial valediction to all!!!! 🙂

Jamie’s Smilieee Guide

Got the not-updating-often guilt into my mind again. I really don’t know why but I seem to be writing more mokka kavidhais than posting here :|…

Introducing you to Jamie’s smiley dictionary –

[:)] – Happy

[:(] – Mmm… not really sad, summa showing like I am

[:D] – So happy I could shout eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

[:o] – I just told one periya significant (to me) matter so you better react the same way :p

[:'(] – Very sad/angry. Maybe I really am crying

[>:(] – You are the only reason I’m angry right now

[:p] – I am a crack and you know it, I know it, so you will treat me like one

[>:)] – Evil look. I am making up my mind to either torture you with my meaningless (eevilll!!) blabberring or vaangify your maanam by doing some evil thing

[:|] – Nothing to say

[||:(] – Banging my head on the wall

[…] – Same as above

[eeeeeeeeeeee] – Random shouting, usually for no reason at all. May also be used as a substitute for ‘:D’. (Specially reserved for Pingie, though others may have to endure it at times)

[///////], [{}{}{}{}{}{}{}],[+=+=+=+=+], and other random (but aren’t they pretty 🙂 ) designs – Hear meeee! Reply to meeee!!! How dare you minimize my windoooow?????? (may also use eeeeeeeeeeee for the same)

[kjfsf  fjldkfd dlfdflfkldkf;], and many such random letters/characters – Same as above